Courage

For the last week, I've worked on my swimming, and it's not going that well.  Oh, Erin, the instructor feels I'm getting better but every time I seem to "get" some aspect, there are 5 other parts that I don't get.  It's frustrating beyond belief and there have been a few times that I've wanted to just quit.  But I keep going, because Kris, who often believed in me when I didn't, feels I'll "get it".  And I part of me wants to know that I gave it my best shot.

Today is a good example.  Erin showed me how to "reach" when I swim and to get that to help me "roll" my body.  And she explained bilateral breathing.  But every time I tried to breathe out my left side, I just inhale water.  So, I'd "take a step back", like she said and use the kickboard to regroup and try again.  But using the kickboard is fine, it's when I add my arms in that I JUST CAN'T BREATHE!!!!!  I just couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong.  One of the other things Erin showed me is the backstroke.  So, I practiced that for awhile and I practiced treading water.  I figured both would help my endurance.

I came home, and thought about what to do.  First thing I did was write my frustrations out, in an email, to Wendy.  She was great, gave me some advice about exhaling.  I had been thinking, that might be part of the problem, that I wasn't exhaling all my air out and therefore wasn't able to get enough in on the next stroke.  So, being the person I am, I looked it up and came across a few practice things I can do.  Wendy also suggested Total Immersion.  I had thought about that before, everything I've read spoke highly of it, but I figured I'd see how the lessons went first.  But after today's swimming experience, I decided to get it.  I need all the help I can get!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I'll be going for a run, even though I'm not going anywhere for dinner, since I'm working, I always like to do "something" active on Thanksgiving.  And the Y is not open tomorrow.  However, I will get up bright and early Friday and head over to the Y to try some of the drills I read about today.

While part of me is discouraged, a larger part isn't ready to give up on learning how to swim.  It's just finding that "click" which I've had happen with so many other things, so I feel very strongly it will happen with the swimming.  The Total Immersion DVD should be here Friday, I had it overnighted!  I'm not one to wait very well.  I'm working Friday night, so I'll watch it over the weekend and then get in the pool Monday morning and try what they suggest.

The biggest obstacle that I have overcome in the past week is a shift in my fear.  While part of me has some trepidation, it's nothing like the outright "fear" I've had of getting in the water.  So, I am making progress, just not at the rate I want to be!  But each time I get in the pool and try I learn something new about myself.  Learning to swim is teaching me more than just the mechanics of swimming, it's teaching me how I can do something I'm afraid of and maybe, just maybe, actually learn to really like it.